letters to surfers

What could President G. W. Bush say to the Taliban?
(A proposal for a letter from President Bush to the Taliban)

I regret that we have no intention of letting you use the eight persons you keep under arrest to prevent us toppling your government. We have proved to the world that Ben Laden is guilty of planning several acts of international terrorism, and you are sheltering him. The world is also horrified by the barbaric treatment of women under your control.

We remind you that people of all faiths are completely free to practice their religion in our country. We allow the building of mosques, and the right of Muslims to worship and propagate Islam in our country. If the eight defendants are guilty of breaking your laws, we do not defend their actions. But we gather that they are very willing to be martyrs for their faith. We pray for them, and hope that you will give an example to Muslims everywhere of civilized behavior. But, as our ally Prime Minister Blair of Britain has warned you, we are about to overthrow your regime by all means in our power, and at the same time provide the food and medical supplies that the people of Afghanistan so badly need.