Howler Jokes

by Robert Brow


Anybody who has corrected exam papers can add to the stock of howlers. Here are my favorites:

A virgin forest is a place where the hand of man has never set foot.

Rural life is found mostly in the country.

A horse divided against itself cannot stand.

The President, in having foreign affairs, has to have the consent of the Senate.

The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son of his father, but a president isn't.

Henry VIII found walking difficult because he had an abbess on his knee.

Growing on the lattice were pink and yellow concubines.

Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel.

Bach had twelve children, and practiced on a spinster in the attic.

The death of Francis Macomber was a turning point in his life.

Hamlet is left on stage to relieve himself in a soliloquy.

If one angle of a triangle is more than 90 degrees the triangle is obscene.

Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.

Adultery is what adults do together.

Having only one wife is called monotony.

A man who has two wives is called a pigamist.

The Gorgons had long snakes in their hair. They looked like women only more horrible.

A morality play is a play in which the characters are goblins, ghost, virgins, and other mythical creatures.

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